fuck tat person whu hacked my frenster acc.knnbccb. CURSE TAT PERSON TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH. IM WICKED. YES I AM. FOR THIS ONCE. cb. go n write "i wna mit guys wif big cocks. add me in msn or frenster". cb lor.. den those fav movies,music al. e person write "e moanings of guys.". knnbccb lor. u bae song u come la hor! cb. do al tis bhind ppl's back. WAT A COWARD. ma chiam no face lyk tat. cannot face ppl ah? cb.

alright.juz read my frens's blog.hais.. n is feelin alot al of a sudden. i dno wats happenin to me these few weeks. gott closer to a guy whom i nv noticed in my sku until tis yr.but stil,hes a weird guy la.s in e wae he see girls.haha.so hes not my type.i once asked myself 'he not bad wat.intelligent.clever.smart.y cant lyk him?' n e ans i got is 'i cant.'. not cannot.but juz,cant seems to fal for sumone noe.hais..nvm.den ive been havin pimples after pimples.after makin one disappear,one appear.wtf.lucky it stopped alr. n now my eye hurts.for dno wat reason.deres no injury,its e inside tat hurts.n e doc gave me eye drops.its been 2 daes.n it is stil hurtin.blink oso pain noe.so i nv go sku todae.lols.n tats y i happened to read my frens's blog.

hais..wat more can i sae to him? goldie asked me 'wat if u see him on e streets now?' i looked at her xpressionless n sae 'i dno.'. i realli dno.wat more can i sae to him?can i smile to him? i dno. but i noe i misses him lyk hell.n wish tat he can come back to me.if onli every wish can come true.i prayed.every sec.wishin sincerely tat he'll b fine,happy.hais..mayb we're juz not meant to b.but i stil love him.s much.i cant seems to let him go. =c

n i wonder.mayb diff pl have diff tinkin ba.n mayb bcoz of wat ive been tru ba.i can seem to put one person in one corner of my heart.despite e fact i stil love tat someone.i put him in one corner.bcoz i noe,if he occupies e whole of my heart,i wun b able to live.so my frens out dere,whu may stumble upon my blog,try to put tat special sumone in one corner of ur heart if u noe ure goin to go crazy if he occupies e whole of ur heart.u wun b able to do ur stuffs.n its gna affect everyting.so y risk everytin juz bcoz he occupy e whole of ur heart.s in...hes e main concentration.for me,i love him.tis is a fact.tat i wun run awae frm.but stil,tink of e big picture,i gta put him in one corner.if not i wun b able to do other stuffs. =)

:))

noe wat? whenever i get anxious n nervous,my hands n feets gets cold. n i wil start havin stomache.. n im havin al these now.. i dno y..

why muz u always b lyk tis? when im not tinkin of u,u show up. when im tinkin of u,ure nowhere near me.. hais.. im so fuckin guilty bcoz i ruined e onli ting u left me..e ring. i dint xpect it. i took it to wash in e silver cleaner.in e end? bwtn e patterns of ur ring is black. after i took it out,it bcame white. n it look so unacceptable now.. hais.. n yet juz now when im happily watchin tv..u sms me.. not askin me to check soccer for u,but askin me whu's number m i using now..i said my line.. n u said i shud had told u earlier...but u dun wna sae y..n u juz started 'hahahahahaha'-ing. hais.. u r always lyk tis.. i dno wat to xpect of u.. really.... but im stil clingin onto tat little hope tat u wil return.. hais..

ok.. todae is e LAST dae of e talk n guess wat? TEARS FLOW LYK A NEVER ENDING RIVER. AND! RAMESH MUTHUSAMY STIRRED UR INNER EMOTIONS. U AL WIL SAE 'FUCK HIM'. BUT HEY. HE REALLI DID MAKE ME HAVE E MOTIVATION TO STUDY NOW. NOE WAT HE DID? I SHALL NOT TELL YOU ALL. HAHA.. NO LA.. erms.. shall change back to norm. he....actually...got a piece of paper,printed wif al e tings we have to do in e comin 36hrs after e talk..n we CRIED lyk its e end of e world for e paper. u al sae 'siao ah? for a paper'. haha.. yes. 4E1 N 4E2. WHOLE LOT OF ABT 80 PPL.. CRIED LYK HELL. plus our frens frm other clas whu came oso.

AND AND AND.. IM SO SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE MY FRENS ARND ME. BE4 TIS TALK,BE4 TODAE,I GET FRUSTRATED,PISSED WIF MY FRENS N CONTINUE WIF IT. I TOTALLY SELDOM HAVE E UNDERSTANDIN. (BUT OF COZ,IM PISSED. I LET IT GO EVENTUALLY). N TODAE. WHEN E CRUEL TING STARTED,XIAOWEI DID REALLI MAKE ME PISSED.N I CALLED CIA TO COME UP.N SHE SAID SHE CANT DO IT TO ME.SHES NOT SERIOUS ENUF. NOE WAT WE WERE SUPPOSE TO DO? ASK UR BEST FREN TIS QUESTION.'WHY DO U TINK U DSERVE TO SUCCEED?!' N ASK N ASK N ASK AGAIN UNTIL WAT U NOE? UNTIL UR FREN BREAKS DOWN IN FRONT OF U. N U GET E CONFIDENCE FRM DEM DEY WIL MAKE IT.DEN U GIF E PAPER TO DEM. FREAKIN HELL U MAY TINK TIS IS. BUT,I WENT TRU IT. CIA CANT DO IT TO ME.N AT TIS MOMENT,CHERYL CAME IN.I HELD HER N I ASKED HER TO SHOUT AT ME.WE SHOUTED AT EACH OTHER WIF OTHERS SHOUTIN TOO.N WAT? ALL E PEOPLE LOOKED AT US FOR ABT 20SECS BE4 DEY CONTINUE WIF THEIR SHOUTINGS. HOW LOUD TAT IS?U IMAGINE. N I BROKE DOWN IN FRONT OF HER.I WIL NEVER EVER FORGET IT. I WAS LOST FOR WORDS AT FIRST. BUT WHEN I TOT OF ALEX WONG KAM WAH. I TOTALLY BCAME INSANE N SHOUTED AT E TOP OF MY VOICE TO CHERYL. I SAID 'I DUN WNA REGRET ANIMORE. U NOE HOW MUCH I HAD PUT INTO HIM? N HE GIF ME TIS? U NOE I FEEL LYK A FAILURE WHU IS MAKIN VREONE HURT AL.' ok..sumtin in bwtn tis post.. disruption.. s i wrote until dere.. i mean e word 'AL'. ANTHONY CALLED ME. n bugged my whole nite.. n now its alr 2.35 in e mornin. n when im so into e conver. lyk,suddenly alot of tings come up n i wna sae. wat he sae? 'hey..tel u wat..weve been tokin for veh long..' n i said 'yes n u wna go slp.' den he politely sae 'ya.. u cal me tml mornin n i'll tok to u again alright?'. haha.. n guess wat? i feel lyk writin abt e conver me n him had. hahaha.. but! i'll finish wif RAMESH FIRST. ok.. back to e topic juz now above.

RAMESH MADE ME SCREAM N SHOUT AT E TOP OF MY VOICE. N U NOE WAT? IM NOT SOFT NOE. IM WELL KNOWN FOR MY LOUD-NESS OK. SO IMAGINE TIS. HAHAHA.. EVENTUALLY I GOT E PAPER. N I STARTED HUGGIN CIA N SOB. REALLY SOB. SOB UNTIL IM OUT OF BREATH TAT KIND NOE. N I GOT SUCHA DIFFICULTY CALMIN DOWN. I TOLD CIA ALOT OF TINGS. LYK, 'I GAVE UP SO MANI TINGS FOR HIM. PHYSICALLY,EMOTIONALLY. N WAT I GET? WHY MUST HE DO TIS TO ME! WHY!.' N A SIMPLE SENTENCE LYK TIS MADE ME BREAK DOWN N SAT ON E FLOOR. N AT TIS PT OF TYM,XIAOWEI,SARA,SHIHUI N BRANDA CAME OVER. N CIA STARTED TO SHOUT AT ME. BCOZ IVE BEEN SAEIN ABT HIM FOR AL E TYM IM CRYIN. SO SHE SAID 'OEI! WAKE UP!! ALIEN IS NOT GNA MAKE U GET A1S FOR UR Os OK! U TINK HE WIL COME BACK TO U BY CRYIN? U TINK HE CAN SUPPORT U? NO! IM SHOUTIN AT U BCOZ I NOE AL TIS GOES INTO UR BRAIN NOE. DO U EVR SEE ME SHOUTIN AT GOLDIE ANIMORE? NO. WHY? SHE DOESNT EVEN LISTENS. N IT BREAK MY HEART SO MUCH EACH TYM SEEIN U CRY. ' N DEN VREONE STARTED TO SHOUT AT ME. (poor me....). XIAOWEI SAID E SAME TING BUT WIF XTRA AGITITATION N TEARS. N I TOLD XIAOWEI TIS. I WAS PISSED N SAD AT E SAME TYM. ABT HER. I SAID 'XIAOWEI. U LOOK AT ME. U TOLD ME U LET GO OF RYAN ALR. N WAT WERE U DOIN TIS MRN?! U TELL ME.!' N SHE BROKE DOWN. N I STARTED SAEIN 'GIRLS. DARLINGS. I NOE U AL MEANT WEL FOR ME U NOE! I NOE. IM NOT IDIOT.' N I FORGOT WAT BRANDA SAID TAT MADE ME RAISED MY VOICE. N WAT SHE DID AFTER TIS SHATTERED MY HEART. SHE SAID 'WHY MUST U ALWAYS SHOUT AT UR FRENS!' N SHE BANG E DOOR N RAN OUT. S SHE WAS AWAE,SARA TOO. BCOZ SHE WENT AFTER BRANDA. I TOKED TO XIAOWEI. I PUT MY HANDS ON HER SHOULDER N SAID 'MY DEAR..UNDERSTAND SUMTING.LIFE IS LYK TIS. U TINK I DNO WAT IM DOIN? U TINK IM AN IDIOT? IM NOT. I NOE WAT U AL R DOIN. I NOE UR HEART BREAKS EACH TYM U SEE ME CRY N BREAK DOWN. I NOE AL TIS. N I DARE TO SAE IM MATURE TO AN EXTENT. I NOE I WIL LET GO OF HIM ONE DAE. JUZ TAT ONE DAE,TAT ONE SEC TAT I FINALLY LET GO. TAT SEC WIL COME. WAT I WNA SAE IS,I APPRECIATE UR TEARS. REALLY. N BLIEVE ME,IM E SAME PATTERN WIF MY MUM. I COMPLAIN,I SAID HOW HEARTBROKEN I AM IN FRONT OF U AL. N DEEP DOWN INSIDE,I NOE WAT IM DOIN.AND I NOE WAT I WANT. ' N SHE DRIED MY TEARS N SAID SHE UTD. IM SO GLAD. E NXT ONE IS SARA. I SAID E SAME TING TO SARA. N SHE HELD MY HANDS N SAID 'SERENE. U MUST LET GO OF HIM OK.' I SAID 'I WIL. ONE DAE.' NOTICE I NV PROMISES ANITING HERE IN TIS PT OF TYM? LYK WAT IVE SAID,I DUN MAKE PROMISES ANIMORE. N DEN SHE HUGS ME N SAE 'I NOE IM NOT ALWAYS DERE FOR U WHEN U NEEDED ME. BUT I WIL TRY MY VEH BEST TO B DERE FOR U OK. LET GO OF HIM.' SO? I SAID E SAME TING. HA. N E NXT IS BRANDA. I WENT TO HER N I SMILE N I SAE 'U HEARD WAT I SAID?' SHE SMILED N DRIED MY TEARS N HUGGED ME. ALRIGHT. VRETING SOLVED. N BRANDA TELLS ME TIS 'ITS NOT TAT WE HATE U FOR SHOUTIN. IT JUZ BREAKS OUR HEART WHEN U SHOUT AT US N ASK US TO FUCK OFF N NOT CARE ABT U.' AWWW..SO SWEET RIGHT. HAHA.. SO FINALLY VRETING SOLVED. N FRENSHIP STRENGTHENED ALOT. =D

after al tis cryin,ramesh made us write a thank you note. so i wrote to y 7jiemeis. n den...zaniel,ryan,vinder,thew,tannya,diyanah,adel,ANTHONY. quite alot la actually. haha.. n ended e dae wif e parents tingy. its so touchin seein ur frens go up in front of vreone n sae i love you to their parents. mine r not dere bcoz dey r workin. so sad. haha.. n tis post is gettin LONG.. so i tink i'll blog abt ANTHONY in e afternoon after i wake up. anw,have to go for follow up sessions tml frm 4-6.wth. y? we dint finish vreting. hahahaha..

off to slp.

ok..back frm e talk.. haha.. try to write s much s i can abt e tok ok? try..

first dae. was a wonderful dae. had 3 lecturers.or tchers.watever.dey r Ramesh Muthusamy,Gary Lee and Candice Koh.ok..RAMESH IS VEH FUNNY. GARY IS EVEN FUNNIER. AND GARY LOOK AH BENG WHEN HE GIF U E VEH DAO FACE. AND CANDICE IS VEH NERVOUS SO DINT PERFORM S WEL.BUT ITS OK LA..ok.. RAMESH came frm NYJC. and! UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY. wth.~ n he studies POLITICAL SCIENCE OK! haha.. GARY is frm SAJC. n i forgot which UNIVERSITY he went to..haha.. candice..hmm..a trainer for yrs,retire for 2 yrs to b a air stewardess and now shes back into e trainin.. GARY IS ON TIS JOB FOR....11YRS ALR. STARTED AT E AGE OF 13..haha.. ok..back to e tok..hmm.. LEARNT ALOT ALOT OF TINGS.. lyk, SPEED READING. WHOLE BRAIN NOTES. BRAIN. SUCCESS FORMULA. POWER OF STATES. ok.. u al muz b wonderin 'WHAT THE HELL?' haha.. its real fun..n their stories r interesting. i lyk GARY more.. he kept emphasizing on 'GUYS R DUMB'. hahaha.. yesyes.. GUYS R REALLY DUMB. no offence.hehe.. realli wat.. girls tink beta than guys. bleahs. first dae was basically full of JOKES AND FUN.

second dae which is todae. haha.. ok.. i cried. hais.. i was prepared actually..but i dint xpect myself n my clasmates to cry so hard.. ok.. u can hear ppl out of breath while cryin u noe.. its til tat stage of crying.. n ramesh asked us to imagine our own parents lyin in a coffin.. n den u recall back to ur childhood..frm e moment u r born n u r in their arms until now.. n den he asks. 'r u al doin ur best now?for dem.' n den he shared wif us how we came abt. how we came to b inside our mother's womb. haha..tats when he bcame agitated.bcoz he tinks tat our own parents go tru so much juz to bring us into tis world n yet we r not doin our best for dem. hais..n tis poor guy called QING YUAN. ok..hes a total arrogant fucker. ramesh started by askin for his name. n den he named wat is qing yuan good at n his character. noone was surprised. n den ramesh asked e1,his clas. whu was unhappy abt qingyuan. n guess wat? so mani ppl raised their hands. ok..den ramesh ask those whu was hurt by qingyuan be4 to stand. n darren stood. n darren said dere was once when qingyuan said darren's eng sucks. (when darren's eng is beta than diyanah whu scores high marks for essays. so u sae darren's eng good anot?). den qingyuan fight back IN FRONT OF RAMESH. he shouted to darren n said ''when did i sae tat!' n den ramesh quarrelled wif him. not quarrel la..argue..n den dey juz kip arguin n qingyuan is so arrogant. n den ramesh bueytahan. ramesh sae 'SO U WNA ARGUE WIF ME? BRING IT ON. COME.' y? HES A NATIONAL DEBATOR MY DEAR.. so how cud anione possibly win him? hahahahaha.... n after e cryin n scoldin session, both classes bcame so MOTIVATED to study bcoz of our parents. at tat tym,wat our sub conscious was tinkin is 'we cant let parents down.yes ramesh is right. our parents brought us to tis earth. tis race abt our dad's sperm enterin our mum's egg is a PHENOMENON RACE. so its a lyk... e MOST DIFFICULT RACE TO B OVERCOME ISNT IT. so ramesh said 'IF TIS RACE CAN B OVERCOMED,WAT ELSE IS COUNTED S DIFFICULT?'. make sense eh? YES. n den he apologized for al e shoutings n scoldin. n deres one ting he said to agitate us to even wna study. he sae 'I DINT HAVE A MOTIVE OF MAKIN U AL CRY. SO WAT IF U AL CRY? I SEE PPL CRY IN A DAILY BASIS. SO?'. n we ended e crying session wif a song. HERO BY MARIAH CAREY. ITS A GODDAMN NICE SONG. guess wat tym we had our diner? 845! n we have to b back by 9. bcoz we hafta leave e sku by a tym. but whu cares? we onli care abt eatin comfortably n slowly. so? we reached back at abt 915. haha.. h den ended e dae wif a 'THE NEW ME' tingy.. LIST DOWN 50 TINGS TAT U WNA CHANGE. OR WNA DO. n guess wat? i listed 65. hahahahahah.... after finishin tis,ramesh tok a while den we go home liaos..we left at wat tym? ABT 1030. hahah.. oh ya.. be4 ramesh,deres GARY N CANDICE. gary basically answered our questions.. n den candice taught us SPEED READING. omg.. i love speed readin now.. it realli makes our concentration beta. lyk,u dvide e passage into 3 parts. n den u use ur pen to pace s u read. n ur pen must go faster than ur eyes. n read in chunks. meanin? in glances. its so easy n fast. n wat? candice gave us 1min to read a passage.if u finish within 1min,read again n again.n den she gif us 1min to do 10 qns bhind. n guess wat? i got 9/10. see how powerful is speed readin? haha.. it actually wil save alot of tym durin eng exam. s u spd read,u circle keywords. y circle? ITS OUTSTANDIN,SO U PAY MORE ATTENTION N U RMB. haha.. see? how dey noe how we study n their strategy. useful eh? GOOD. IM NOW MOTIVATED TO STUDY.
n i wna thanks my frens. SARA,GOLDIE,ALICIA,BRANDA,XIAOWEI,CALLY,SHIHUI,DIYANAH,ANTHONY,ZANIEL,ADELINE,TANNYA AND MICHELLE. im not being biased or wat,onli put those im close to. NO. for those whu names r not here,SORRY. im realli tired n i dun feel lyk typin out vreone name. hehe..pardon me. THANKS U GUY N GIRLS FOR ALWAYS BEING DERE FOR ME. LYK ANTHONY CHOONG HAN PING. HE GAVE ME FREE 'SERVICE' (DUN XIANG WAI WAI). SERVICE S IN,CONSOLING SERVICE.bcoz i hasnt been feelin emotionally stable la..ANTHONY,URE A LOGICAL YET NONSENSICAL PERSON. AND HAVING U MAKES MY LYF FUN. N MY 7 JIEMEIS!! I LOVE YOU AL. JUZ 3 WORDS FOR VREONE. SIMPLE N EASILY UNDERSTANDBLE. HEHE..

oh ya..we TALKED ABT SELF ESTEEM. n ramesh said tat THOSE WHU OFTEN TOK LOUDLY R THOSE PPL WIF LOW SELF ESTEEM. Y? BCOZ DEY DUN WNA SHOW THEIR REAL ME FEARIN OF GETTIN HURT. SO WE PUT ON A FACADE. N U USUALLY WAN TO ATTRACT ATTENTION. BUT PLEASE!! IM NOT LOUD BCOZ I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM!! I HAVE HIGH ESTEEM OK! HEHE.. SO ITS ABT AL ALR..

IM GNA SLP ALR. SUPER TIRED. JUZ A BRIEF SUMMARY FOR YTD N TODAE. TML IS E LAST DAE OF E TALK. n wat? after e cryin session,after dner,when we go to e toilet,i said tis in e toilet 'can we strecth e tok? we dun mind stayin up late.' haha.. but ramesh sae cannot la.coz sku have to close ma..haha.. oks.. off to LALA LANG. good night!

ps. edit on my colors tml. eyes r closin alr.

ok..had a MOTIVATION TALK todae..it is lasting for 3 daes.. n todae is e 1st.. ok.. wanted to blog when i first came online..but stuffs crop up again n again.. until now no mood to blog liaos.. tml ba.. update on e tok.. its veh funny.. n deres 3 tcher..trainer i wud sae.. RAMESH MUTHUSAMY,GARY LEE AND CANDICE KOH. i lyk ramesh n gary.. gary look so ah beng la~ (mayb hes one?haha..) n ramesh dun look lyk a commander at al. bleahs.

ok..went out wif SARA todae.. to buy her stuffs for SHERNWHEY. haha.. tat so xingfu guy..~ n my leg hurts now.. wore heels for e whole dae.. alamak.. haha.. n i saw tis ripcurl sling bag which i love~ whahaha..gna save money to buy it.. STARTING FROM NOW! WHAHAHAHA....

ok..dint blog for daes.. y? coz i got nth to blog abt.. skuling al.. haha.. n i went to MINGDE's chalet ytd.. it actually started on e 30th la.. n my bro went on e 30th.. mi,goldie,kel,bingshun,roy,roy's gf went on e 1st which is ytd.. n ah bee is dere too.. he uber skinny now..NS ma.. haha.. enjoyed abit la.. was kinda bored.. y? bcoz we were tired of stayin in e chalet so we went to downtown.. n e guys played DOTA. while me n goldie walk arnd n slack.. n den went back,kel n bingshun started to BBQ.n deres tis other birthday girl whu shared e chalet wif mingde..her frens ah...guys al so SHUAI.. girls al so CIAO.. =p. me n goldie were so goddamn bored tat i started singin nonsense song to her.. haha.. had a little chat wif ah bee.. reminisced e past.. when me n him n our grp of frens played bball la.. haha.. he oso bbq.. den he go do his stuffs al.. bingshun dey al went to dowtown wif ZIYU,JUNTANG,SOONCHEONG N JUNTANG'S GF to eat.. dey dun wna stay in e chalet.. n goldie quarrelled wif kel.. aiyoyo.. so i kept her comp lor.. den dey come back.. slacked...den me,goldie n kel went to e beach.. IM SUCHA LIGHTBULB.but goldie pul me along.. listened to songs dere.. saw e PSA port n planes arrivin n departin.. recalled abt him n tears roll down for sum tym.. den back to chalet..den 12AM! after MINGDE n e other birthday girl cut cake,e whole gang of guys carried MINGDE n throw him into e POOL. haha.. so me n goldie n kel n ah bee had a little chat at e pool n got ourselve wet. n guess wat? i got shirt to change but no pants..so i borrowed one pant frm ah bee.. BILLABONG. n its GODDAMN NICE. e design. den had a bathe den played poker wif bingshun n kel n kel's godsis. (kel's godsis is so childish..hais....to tink shes 20. alamak.) den up to e room to rest..bcoz by tat tym is alr 4+ in e mornin alr! haha.. had a little chat wif e girls up dere.. mingde's gf n her frens..den off to slp.. had SUCHA LITTLE SLP.. slept at abt 5+ to 6.. n i woke up at 830. y? e room was COLD. haha.. den book out at 10.. n here im back home..